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  Friday 17th October

Mate - you're at work - you're not alone.

Regardless, whistling is annoying most of the time, but in these circumstances it is unacceptable.

So that'll be a fine of $4.41

  Thursday 23rd October

Now listen here ... I do know that fashion isn't my thing and it's great that people try new things all the time.

But, trousers this short, no socks and brown formal shoes?


So much so that I fine you $2.49.

  Sunday 26th October

Nice cafe in Auburn - but it contains a large variety of knobs.

This old bag was blocking the way past so somebody had to squeeze by only for the bag to say (loudly),
"No wonder she she couldn't get by. Did you see the size of her bum?".

You're a classy piece of work and I am fining you $4.17.

  Friday 21st November

Is it unkind to fine somebody who dresses without caring what anyone else thinks?

I have a fine of $2.03 that says "No".

  Tuesday 9th December

This man (yes, I said man) was very loud on the 5:30 tram this morning.

It's great that you're happy but shut the hell up and pay a fine of $1.43 for disturbing my peace.

  Monday 22nd December

Thanks for your text and the information.

However, to the Marketing genius at your company, as you can't be arsed to say who you are, I fine you $2.13.

I'm not calling to find out who you are - that's not how it works.

  Sunday 28th December

So you take drugs - well done you.

But for getting on the tram with the syringe tucked behind your ear, blood on your shirt and a stupid haircut (that I couldn't capture on film), I fine you $2.04

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