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  Thursday 1st May

So I'm wandering around the street and nearly tripped over these two babies crawling around on a dirty pavement outside a shop.

The mother (or mothers) were just rabbiting away without caring that people had to step over their little darlings.

I have no issue with the kids - they were doing what they do.

But the mothers who didn't care about anyone else each receive a fine of $2.86.

  Thursday 1st May

I was catching up with a friend in a small cafe and these two morons sat there talking really loudly to each other.

They were over-laughing at the drivel they were talking and high-fiving each other like they were two 12 years old in an American teenage sitcom.

I don't mind conversation, laughter and, at a stretch, a high-five - but these two pushed too far on all categories and receive a joint fine of $1.36.

  Saturday 10th May

Hey lady - when your kid drops all her sweets on the floor of a cafe, how about you make some attempt to pick them up rather than just pick the tin up (and nothing else).

And don't look down your nose at the world.

A $2.61 fine for taking no responsibility, you mole.

  Monday 20th May

It's 5:20am on a Monday morning and I am greeted by a wild man. There were two others on the tram and he parked himself next to one poor girl who had to endure the smell - I was 2 seats away and it wasn't good.

And then there were the rantings between him and the various imaginary people that he was talking to.

It did amuse me when he started talking to one invisible person and told them that he was on a tram and it looks like he was either in Germany or Pompeii - he wasn't sure which.

But I don't wish to have have this madness on a Monday morning, but as I feel sorry for him, the fine is only $0.06.

  Saturday 24th May

This was the support for a rather excellent gig. And she (plus her guitarist and pianist) were appalling - unbelievably so. I thought that it might have been a joke - but apparently not.

There were people near us who giggled a bit as it was that bad. Carolyn and I couldn't look at each other to prevent laughing too much. When it finished, others near us were commenting on how bad it was too.

So I fine her $4.08. I will let her musicians off with a warning. I fine the venue $8.67 for booking her. And I fine each of her family and friends who have encouraged her, $0.84 each.

  Tuesday 27th May

First thing in the morning - I'm off to work and this was on the tram.

She was certainly not her best - well, I hope that is the case.

When she got up, she stumbled on her heels and was heading my way.

I'm relieved that she caught herself before my day was ruined. But for the scare, I fine her $2.96.

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