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  Saturday 4th January

This man has the audacity to act like his hair is acceptable.

Hopefully the $1.25 fine will put him straight that it isn't.

  Sunday 12th January

If I wanted to hear you play the drums, I'd ask.

So shut the hell up and let me hear the real music, you dumb-arse.

That's a $2.15 fine.

  Monday 20th January

Ok - that's enough now.

When, on a Monday, I ask you how you are, if you reply along the lines of, "not bad ..... for a Monday" or anything that is suffixed with "for a Monday", then I will be fining you $1.

If you follow this comment with a laugh, then that will incur an additional 79 cent fine.

There - you've been warned. Now stop it.

  Thursday 30th January

I know that circumstances aren't good for you. I know that your health isn't great. I know that you needed a piss.

But I didn't need to see you whip that out and water the plants on the street.

And when you'd finished, you could have put it away quickly rather than let it get a tan.

So put it away and pay a fine of $4.43

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