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  Dec 2012

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  Thursday 1st August

Where to start?

The outfit, the moustache, the hair, the miserable persona?

As you look like this and don't work in a gas station in the mid-west of the US, I fine you $4.14.

  Tuesday 6th August

Sitting on the tram, the chap next to me was on the phone and I heard him say:

"when I posted that I wanted to pin a sperm on her egg, I didn't mean it literally".


1) "literally" - I assumed not
2) who on earth talks like that?
3) why would you post it anyway
4) you're fined $4.62 for being a knob.

  Thursday 15th August

Nixon Hotel: Ordered a cup of tea and when the chap dipped into the spoon tray he pulled out a spoon, looked at it, muttered that it was dirty so put it back in the tray and picked out another - it's probably been rejected many times.

I fine you $1.63 for not just washing it.


Friday 16th August

Walking through Richmond for the Hawthorn v Collingwood game.

A car went by and the passenger shouted at/to me "Ball sack!".

I don't know when my scrotum has ever felt more insulted.

I fine him $1.01 for not explaining the reference.


Sunday 25th August

To the man in JB Hi Fi who farted and pretended that it was somebody else, there is no fine as it was me.

Sorry about that.

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