Apr 2012
May 2012
Jun 2012
Jul 2012
Aug 2012
Sep 2012
Oct 2012
Nov 2012
  Tuesday 4th December

To this old dude, I don't mind your toothless mouth muttering, but saying

"...*something* *something* fork *something* forking *somthing* twat"

is unnecessary and will cost you a $1.12 fine potty-mouth

  Wednesday 5th December


To this singing man who stopped singing to ask me whether Chevvy Chase was dead.

I said that I didn't think so and he said good as it makes him sad when people die - particularly Chevvy Chase.

And then back to the singing.

A fine of 45 cents is enough.

  Thursday 6th December

  YouTube link  

Ummmm .... $6.14 should cover this one off

  Friday 7th December


Weird in the real world - less weird on film.

Weird enough to be fined $2.15 if it's a woman or $2.20 if it's a man.

  Sunday 9th December

Not a real crime with Christmas so close, but still, maybe $0.24 for being so un-bikey?

  Saturday 15th December

This garden gnome came to life and turned into a pimp. (click image for some clarity)

The young (?) prostitute with him just handed over $30 (maybe earned from 30 shags) and he's on the phone calling (possibly) for more drugs.

The look on her face is that she's had enough drugs, so I fine him the $30.

  Saturday 15th December

Another Hitler lookalike.

The standard Hitler fine of $4.26 still stands.

  Saturday 15th December

To quote her: "They said I should get a job but I'm a lazy c**t so no f**king way"

So our future is in good hands.


I fine her $6 - that is $1 for each point that "c**t" scores in scrabble.

  Sunday 16th December

Walking like a cowboy, but looking like a drunk.

It's not even noon and he's wasted - a click of the photo will show you that his clothes sense also give a hint as to his aroma.

A sad case whom I fine $0.79 for no particular reason.

  Wednesday 19th December

I think that $0.25 for each centimeter he had his finger up his nose is reasonable.

So that's a $1 fine.

  Thursday 20th December

For leaving your empty cans in the street, I fine you $2.27

  Sunday 23rd December

I don't believe that it was necessary to qualify this instruction.

I fine the council $3.67 for having done so.

I mean .... really?

  Saturday 29th December

This chap is called Merrick and he talked to me for almost an hour in a cafe and his stories got more and more weird and unbelievable.

Apparently he was friends with Rod Stewart, Robert Plant and that crowd and used to play football with them in L.A.

Of course you did.

I fine him $1.42 for not keeping it real

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