Apr 2012
May 2012
Jun 2012
  Monday 2nd July

£6.66 fine to this man.

6 urinals in a row - me at number 1 and nobody at 2 to 6 until this man stood at number 2.

Tut tut.

  Wedneday 4th July

This woman just spoiled our tour up the Round Tower at Windsor Castle by talking drivelling bollocks whilst the guide tried to inform us of stuff.

That is a £3.23 fine but I'd settle with slapping her silly face.

  Tuesday 10th July

A £4.99 to this woman who shared our pod on the London Eye this morning.

The trip took 30 minutes and she spent 20 of them talking very loudly on her phone - what a thoughtless and selfish troll.

  Wednesday 11th July

The driver of this old bus slowed down enough for me to jump on, but sped off before Carolyn could get on.

Though it was funny, I am fining you £4.01.

  Wednesday 11th July

For the worst wig of the week.

I thank you for the laugh but am still fining you 79 pence for being delusional in thinking that nobody would notice.

  Thursday 12th July

Walking along side the Thames we heard some contemporary jazz that was accompanied by jazz dancers.

A scourge of all civilised society - I fine them £23.64 each and that is being kind.

  Saturday 14th July

They say that it is lucky when a feathered friend poos on you - well it was lucky for me that it chose Carolyn's head rather than mine - and on her birthday too.

Oh well ..... shit happens.

  Monday 16th July

On a ferry heading towards the Eiffel Tower, this knob not only pushed me out the way for a photo.

He was also whistling - and the song that he was whistling?

"Those Were The Days" by Mary Hopkins.

For that, you loser, I fine you €17.98.

  Tuesday 17th July

For our last night in Paris we went on a delightful dinner cruise down the Seine that was lovely despite the piano & violin duo playing "Those Were The Days" by Mary Hopkins - an indiscretion that was negated by the food, views and company.

  Wednesday 18th July

You may not believe me, but Carolyn can vouch for it.

At a Metro station as we were going from Champs Élysées to St Germaine, there was a man playing a piano accordion and the song that he was playing?

Yes, it was bloody "Those Were The Days" by Mary Hopkins.

Come on Paris - sort it out - end this obsession now.

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