Apr 2012
May 2012
  Tuesday 5th June

86 tram.

To the drunk who won't stop shouting "Who's required to be challenged?", I fine you $10 and demand you drink much coffee.

And why has he now switched to "Are we committed to condemn?" at the top of his voice?


  Saturday 9th June

Elsternwick. The breakfast is either 'all day' or '7am - 4pm' - you can't have it both ways.

I fine you $3.50 or one coffee - your choice.

  Sunday 10th June

Dinner in St Kilda found us sitting near 4 of the most pretentious knobs you've ever heard.

The word 'fabulous' was over used.
The oysters were apparently "fertile".
One said that "it was a privilege to have that in my mouth" (ooooh errrr).
One said "this, my friend, is fine dining".

I only fine you $6.12 each because your biggest punishment is each other's company.

  Thursday 14th June

96 tram.

I don't mind that you are behaving oddly and have no shoes on, but for picking bits off your face and munching on them, I fine you $12.05.

  Wednesday 20th June

A fine of £25 to the man who decided that all English car parks should smell of piss.

I am in Brighton and think that I have just parked in your crowning glory.

  Thursday 21st June

Just saw some of UK Big Brother and the narrator said "it is now 23pm".

You can have 23:00 or 11pm - that is a £3.25 fine, you cock.

  Friday 29th June

£8.65 fine for these two planks for walking along and giving each other a running commentary on their lives e.g.

"I've received a text",
"I'm going to reply",
"what shall I say",
"I'm replying",
"I've replied" etc.

You two can just go and get stuffed.

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